Tex's Week 11 Picks

Wow, so last week was horrible. Just terrible. This week could not possibly be worse, so I’m gonna just go all-out and be crazy.

Thursday Night Game

Colts @ Titans – COLTS: I almost picked the Titans to upset, and I was pretty close, but I’m glad I stuck with the Colts. They are NOT that good of a team, though, if they have to come back against the team that let the JAGS have a win.

Sunday Early Afternoon Games

Falcons @ Bucs – FALCONS: I don’t like the Falcons, but surely the win last week by the Bucs was a fluke of adequacy. This team is bad with zero weapons. The Falcons at least have Tony Gonzalez…

Jets @ Bills – BILLS: I believe in the Bills, and I refuse to believe in the Jets. Besides, the Jets have to start blowing some games if they’re gonna miss the playoffs. However, doesn’t this season feel an awful lot like Sanchez’s first season? Improbable wins, impossibly good luck, and a grittiness coupled with a lack-of-likability that just makes you wonder if Adam Sandler was right in Little Nicky by saying Satan is a Jets fan?

Lions @ Steelers – LIONS: I don’t like the Lions, but they’re better than the Steelers. Of course, I like the Steelers even less, so this game is one of those games where I’m glad I don’t live in either area and have to suffer through this matchup.

Redskins @ Eagles – EAGLES: I can’t believe it, but somehow the Cowboys will have allowed the Eagles and their horrificness into 1^st place in the division. Don’t get me wrong - it won’t last. However, the Redskins can’t figure out what they’re doing, and the Eagles have somehow done better with their backup. Chip Kelly is an idiot, however, if he’s holding out for Vick to come back. Foles, other than the Cowboys game, has done worlds better with the Revolutionary Offense.

Ravens @ Da Bears – DA BEARS: Well, I did call the Ravens in last week’s game, but I don’t think they have the same chance this week against a solid defense and an offense that doesn’t lose much without Cutler. This does not bode well for Cutler’s future in Chicago, especially when they knock off the defending Super Bowl champs, regardless of how downgraded they are.

Browns @ Bengals – BENGALS: I really, really, REALLY wanted to take the Browns this week, but I have this feeling that they will come up short in Cincy. Cincy usually bounces back after losses, and I don’t think this week will be any different, especially at home against a divisional opponent. (I would totally rather the Browns win, though.)

Raiders @ Texans – TEXANS: Now, I was going to choose the Texans to win even before I heard Pryor was injured, but now that he’s out, I’m LOCKing this bad boy in. Case Keenum is the real deal. I like his style; I like his poise; I like his moxie. Yeah, I used the word “moxie,” what are you gonna do about it? The Texans are already doomed this year, but this kid gives some hope for the future. Unless you’re Matt Schaub, that is. Then you don’t like your future as it will likely be in Jacksonville, Tampa, or Minnesota as a backup quarterback. And really, when you think about it, if you’re a backup quarterback on one of those teams, don’t you think it’s time to hang up the cleats?

Cardinals @ Jaguars – CARDINALS: The Cardinals are about 1 or 2 drafts away from reclaiming the NFC West. The Jags are about 1 or 2 drafts from not being the worst team in the NFL. Sure, the Jags won a game last week, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. This just… no. No win for the Jags.

Sunday Late Afternoon Games

Chargers @ Dolphins – DOLPHINS: So, did y’all see my article on how Jonathan Martin is a big coward? Did y’all pay attention these past 2 weeks and hear how right I was? Did y’all hear that Martin wasn’t to continue his career in the NFL? Really? Name one team desperate enough to sign some cowardly, whiny, tattle-tell? Even the Jaguars have more pride than that. They won’t even sign a proven winner in Tebow who is nothing but good character. Why would they sign this whiny little brat? Incognito has a better chance of playing somewhere else than Martin. Anyway, even though the Dolphins have all these problems, they are better than the Chargers. Why? Mainly because I’m tired of the Chargers. I don’t want to pick them because the moment I do, they somehow become their old selves. The Chargers do, however, have a chance now that the Dolphins aren’t allowed to push anymore because they might hurt somebody’s feelings...

Vikings @ Seahawks – SEAHAWKS: Every time I believe in the Seahawks, they try to prove me right in saying they aren’t good. Every time I go ahead and doubt them, they prove Dylan right that they are a good team. Now, this team is NOT the best team in the NFL despite what Dylan wants you to think. The best team in the NFL is the one that wins the most. The Seahawks have tried to lose to amazing teams such as the Rams and the Bucs, the latter one even being in Seattle. They aren’t that good. They are better than I thought, but the Vikings are going to show exactly how not-that-good the Seahawks are when they run all over them. Seahawks will squeak out a win at home, but another close call against a bad team will just prove my point.

49ers @ Saints – SAINTS: I knew I was going to catch some flack around here after the Saints just took the Cowboys out back and beat the tar out of them. The one thing that everyone around here will grant me, however, is that NO team can lose 4.5 starters on defense (the 0.5 being DeMarcus Ware, who was around 50% and probably should have stayed out until after the bye week) and beat the Saints. The Saints won, to be sure, and they probably would have won anyway what with that lethargic offense from the Cowboys, but it would not have been record setting if the Cowboys’ defense was fully loaded. Thank goodness the Cowboys have a Bye Week this week to try to heal up. That being said, the Saints seem to be firing on all cylinders, both offense and defense, and a push for the #1 seed could be legitimate if the Saints beat the Seahawks later this year. The 49ers are NOT coming into the Big Easy and winning.

Packers @ Giants – GIANTS: The Giants are not doing ANYTHING this year, however, the Packers are not a good team without Aaron Rodgers. The Giants win by circumstance.

Sunday Night Game

Chiefs @ Broncos – CHIEFS: Everyone is talking about the blowout that will ensue in Denver this week, but I am here to tell you that the Chiefs stack up very well against the Broncos. I am picking the Chiefs to go into Denver and eke out that win. It will NOT be a dominant win as far as scoreboard because that’s not how this team works. Manning WILL be victimized by a ridiculous pass rush, and it will be a close, hard-nosed defensive struggle. I am WASHing this out because it’s in Denver, which is a wild-card to me.

Monday Night Game

Patriots @ Panthers – PATRIOTS: I was utterly surprised to find out that the Patriots were not favored in this matchup. I was even more flabbergasted that it was by 3 points, allowing me to call this game my UPSET. I know the Panthers are on a 5-game winning streak, but Brady has Gronk back. That’s what he needed, and they have been very good since Gronk’s return. This game is gonna have a lot of big hits, but the biggest is going to be to the Panthers pride when their defense is going to be embarrassed by Gronk’s ridiculousness.