Let me begin by stating thus fact: I am not a large man. I'm 5'6, 160 pounds. I have never been a big guy, and I got picked on a lot growing up. It still is a sore subject, and it is a button that, if pushed correctly (or incorrectly, depending on your point of view) will usually result in me ripping apart every single flaw I can find in you. Alternatively, I simply cut ties with you. It is something my friends know not to push unless they want to fight or end the friendship. I am not proud of my reactions, and I have matured quite a bit as I grow older, but 20 years of putting up with it until I met a good group of friends is hard to undo overnight or even in 7 years.
Why am I talking about this? Because I am explaining to you what true bullying/harassment/hazing is, as opposed to what one Jonathan Martin is claiming. Bullying is not someone calling you a mean name, and you being too cowardly to call him out so you call him a bully. Bullying is a purposeless act of pure indifference to the other person's existence as a human being to the severity and frequency that it leaves a lasting, negative impression on that person's character.
One voicemail from a former best friend does NOT count. The media is eating this up and supporting Martin while vilifying everyone supporting Incognito. Let me be clear, I do not condone what Incognito said. However, Martin is the problem here, not Incognito.
We, as a society, have been trying to make sure the minority gets heard above the majority to ensure all humans have their basic rights. In the 1920s, it was women; in the 1860s and later in the 1960s, it was African-Americans; in recent years, there has been a rise in anti-bullying, and rightfully so. However, we have taken that thought and brought it to an absolutely ridiculous extreme. We have rightfully taught kids to not physically fight and to walk away, but that doesn't mean the kid should run away crying. What "walk away" actually means is being the more mature person and standing up for yourself without giving in to your animalistic instinct to beat each other up. Jonathan Martin was correct in not punching Incognito (despite the recommendation of his own GM), but quitting the team and checking into a hospital because of "emotional distress" over a single voicemail? Give me a break!
Be a man! I don't mean be a caveman who talks in grunts and punches, I mean be a man as in an adult male who doesn't sulk like a little 2 year old and cry himself to sleep because someone called him a meany-head. See, some of those being vilified are being singled out by saying Martin should be a man, but I tend to think they are saying, in more politically correct words, be an adult. I have had multiple fights and arguments with some of my best friends. Heck, y'all have heard or read some amazing disagreements between Dylan and me. But do you think I quit with them after one altercation? No! I tell them I have a problem, and we talk it out! And you know what else, I know I can count on my real friends if the stuff really hits the fan.
Jonathan Martin did not seek out any help. He just quit. He didn't trust his other teammates to help mediate, he didn't even approach the person who wronged him. Jonathan Martin is not a weak man because he was insulted; he is not a coward because he failed to punch Incognito; he is a weak coward because he couldn't approach the problem at the source by talking to Incognito, and he avoided a fight to run away and sulk in a hospital, where there are legitimate emotional problems being treated, instead of standing up for himself in even the most basic way. Ultimately, the most sickening part is that he made himself the victim when there are actual legitimate victims found in so many more places. And shame on EVERYONE who defends his cowardice.
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