Well, well, well, look how well I did last week: 11-5. My lock won, my upset lost, my wash won giving me… 5 points. Not too shabby for my first week picking. What will happen this week? I don’t know. If I knew, I’d have gone 16-0. Good gravy, come on. Ok, so what does Tex think will happen? Well…
Thursday Night Football
Jets @ Patriots (-11.5): PATRIOTS – I still dislike Thursday Night Football. However, since I MUST pick or else forfeit, I’m gonna take the easy choice. Now, I know that the Patriots struggled last week against the Bills, and I know that Danny Amendola is going to be out on Thursday with a groin injury, but the Jets cannot POSSIBLY pull of what they did last week. That was stupid. Just stupid. So stupid, in fact, that I’m gonna go ahead and LOCK in this first game of the week. The Patriots might even cover that spread.
Sunday Early Afternoon Games
Chargers @ Eagles (-7.5): EAGLES – Yeah, I know I just critiqued the Eagles’ offense and said they weren’t as good as everyone said, but you didn’t hear my opinion of the Chargers’ complete melt-down. Long story short: new coach, same team. The Eagles will also be at home, so there’s that. Bottom line: I still put the Eagles at the bottom of the NFC East, and I still put the Chargers either at 3rd or 4th in the AFC West, depending on my mood. The problem with picking this game? Both teams were bleh in the 2nd half. I’d probably say the Eagles cover, though.
Browns @ Ravens (-6.5): RAVENS – So the Ravens got throttled by my Super Bowl pick, so what? It’s not like Brandon Weeden is going to be tying any good records this week. Also, people haven’t been pointing this out, but the Ravens DID score 27 points. That isn’t too shabby except compared to Peyton’s 7 TDs. I think the Ravens cover.
Titans @ Texans (-9): TEXANS – The Titans are not a good team. They only scored 16 points. I guess their defense is good, but the Texans proved that one bad half does not count them out. Also, seeing as it’s in Houston, I’ll go with the Texans holding their own. The Titans’ defense, however, prevents Houston from covering.
Dolphins @ Colts (-2.5): COLTS – Well, let’s just hope for Indy’s sake that the temporary losing to Raiders deal was Week 1 hiccups, not an indication for the future. The Colts are taking a few steps up the ranking ladder, so they’ll need to put it together better than last week. Being at home should help lift the Colts to a win and covering the spread.
Panthers @ Bills (+3): BILLS – I don’t agree with the Panthers being favored. The Bills showed they can do some damage, and this game will be in Buffalo. The Panthers only put up 7 points. Granted, they went against a critically acclaimed Seahawks defense, but that’s no excuse if you plan on being a good team. I think the Bills are going to sneak one here, but it’s not my upset pick. That comes later.
Rams @ Falcons (-6.5): FALCONS – The Rams struggled last week at home against a rebuilding Cardinals team. I don’t like the Falcons at all. It is well documented how overrated I believe them to be. However, they don’t lose 2 games in a row, they are a constant thorn in my ears, and they will be having their home opener. The Dirty Birds will pull it off… for now. They do not, however, pull off that spread.
Redskins @ Packers (-7.5): PACKERS – The problem with the Redskins winning the division last year and then getting RG3 injured is that they have a tougher schedule during RG3’s continued on-field rehab. Now, he performed much better in the 2nd half of the game with the Eagles, but Aaron Rodgers performed better than RG3 all game. Also, seeing as the game is in Green Bay, the Redskins will have to make up wins later in their schedule. The Redskins will just have to accept the solace that they prevent the Packers from covering the spread.
Cowboys @ Chiefs (-3): COWBOYS – I doubted my team last week. For this, I am deeply ashamed. I won’t be making the same mistake twice. I don’t care that the Chiefs prevented the Jags’ offense from scoring; the Chiefs let the Jags get a safety. THE JAGS!!!! The Chiefs will be the league’s most improved team, but that won’t reflect this week. All this, but I still haven’t claimed my upset pick yet. Where on earth could that be?
Vikings @ Da Bears (-6): DA BEARS – Da Bears showed some character last week. I was most impressed. While I think the Vikings will keep it close and prevent Da Bears from covering the spread, Da Bears will find a way to slow AP down enough to win.
Saints @ Bucs (+3.5): SAINTS – I didn’t even realize this until Monday, but last week was the first time the Saints beat the Falcons on opening day. That’s awesome. This season really will bring good things to the Saints. Saints win and cover in ridiculous fashion.
Lions @ Cardinals (+1.5): LIONS – As long as Ndamakung Suh is making stupid plays, the spread can’t be high for the Lions. As long as he keeps incapacitating players, though, the opposing teams won’t be able to have starters. I’ll give the edge to the Lions in a squeaker. The line is so small that covering the spread should be a cinch. I will, however, employ my WASH-OUT right here as I could see it going either way.
Jaguars @ Raiders (-5.5): RRRRRRRRAAAAAAIDERRRRRSSSSS!!!! – I will not be able to do that too many times this year, but my goodness gracious, could the Jags be more pathetic? Sorry Dylan, but they may be the first team in a long time if not ever to get 2 1st picks in a row in the draft. Raiders cover like nobody’s business.
Broncos @ Giants (+4.5): BRONCOS – I stared at this line for a long time. I was convinced that someone messed up and forgot the 1 in front of that 4, but I guess not. Surely the record-tying Peyton is not favored by a mere 4.5 against Mr. Derp-Derp-3-picks-including-my-first-pass-of-the-season Manning. What, does Brandon Jacobs really scare Vegas odds-makers? Broncos win, and probably triple-up that spread.
49ers @ Seahawks (-3.5): 49ERS – THERE’S my UPSET pick. My good ol’ reliable 49ers. They are fresh off an amazing performance by Kaepernick over the Packers, and the Seahawks are coming off a 12 point pbbbbbbt game against the Panthers. Gee, I wonder which one is the better bet… Oh right, I’m not completely stupid, and I’m gonna pick the one who’s playing correctly.
Steelers @ Bengals (-7): BENGALS – Wow, are the Steelers bad or what? I mean, you can’t even say it’s the Titans' amazingness; they scored 16 points. They also gave away 2 points with the safety. If the Browns weren’t so bad, I’d agree with Dylan’s prediction of the Steelers being in last place. Now look at the Bengals: they put up a great performance against Da Bears that, unfortunately, just wasn’t meant to be. They will make up for it this week, though, by covering the spread and embarrassing those pathetic Steelers.
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