Jurassic Fail

Jurassic Fail
By Dave Schefke

We've all seen the movie Jurassic Park. It's an absolute classic. In fact, it was the first PG-13 movie my parents let me watch since I was obsessed with dinosaurs. If you haven't seen it, shame on you...go watch. There is a line in the movie where Jeff Goldblum says "Life finds a way." I couldn't help think of that during Sunday's game between the Lions and Colts.
 

Those stupid Lions. They cost me money this week. Not because I bet on them to win, but because I COULDN'T get myself to pull the trigger on Indy to cover. Seriously, the Colts were 7-point DOGS against the Lions. My fingers tapped the keyboard, begging me to bet Indy to at least cover, but my good self-discipline actually punished me this week, and I kept to my new golden rule as of a few weeks ago: 

NEVER, under any circumstance, bet anything in any game involving the Detroit Lions. They will find a way to disappoint.

And disappoint they did, unless you are a Colts fan.You could hear the moans from Lions' fans as they watched yet another victory slip away...no, gift wrapped and given away...scratch that: heart ripped out, thrown in the endzone and danced over by a heard of Colts. Yes, that's more like it.

Joking aside, let's look at the facts. The Indianapolis Colts went 2-14 last year. Enter Andrew Luck, a rookie who has led this team to an improbable 8-4 record thus far. Yes, Reggie Wayne is having a midlife crisis and is playing out-of-his-mind-amazing. And, yes, T.Y. Hilton and other Colt rookies are really stepping up and playing well over expectations. But let's give credit where credit is due...saying that Andrew Luck is the real deal is a real understatement. I can hear Jeff Goldblum now. "The Indianapolis Colts are not a good 8-4 team. They are actually a terrible 8-4 team. But they....just find a way."

Now let's look at the Detroit Lions, a team who made the playoffs last year and had enormous expectations this year. Not that the expectations were unreasonable. Yes, they are in an extremely deep division, but this team is loaded with superstar talent. The result? They are 4-8. Why? Because Matthew Stafford flips a coin before the game to decide whether he will play well or not. After that is decided, he flips the coin again to decide whether he will target the world's best wide receiver 2 times, or 20 times. What else...

Suh is, well, an animal. Titus Young is a complete waste of talent, opting instead to carry around his chip-on-the-shoulder, selfish punk-*ss attitude wherever he goes. Leshoure is a star in the making, who puts up average numbers because he doesn't have anyone to block for him. And the coach....haha. Oh, the coach. He cost his team a win against a massive powerhouse team on Thanksgiving because he doesn't know the NFL rules. This team should be 8-4 and challenging for the division in a year where everyone thought the wild card was their only shot. With the way the Pack and Bears have been playing, the Lions would have had a legitimate shot. But Jeff Goldblum would say it best. "The Lions should be 8-4, but this team just finds a way...to lose."

Next up for the Colts- the lowly Titans, and Andrew Luck is at home. Next up for the Lions- the Packers...in Green Bay.  These are two very easy picks here for your pick 'em league, but not at all to bet. As Jurassic Park said..."Clever girl."