State of Overreaction - Week 12

State of Overreaction III

By Tex DeVille (@TheFUSTexan on Twitter)

(Thanksgiving Match-ups; Black Friday reaction)

Houston: Ok, we need to stop fartin’ around if we’re gonna make Texas look good again. Wade! We’re firing you. It worked in Dallas (that season).

Detroit: Oh, THAT’S why everyone hates Jim Schwartz: because he’s an emotional a-hole and a moron. We thought everyone was jealous of how he’s able to take great defensive players and turn them into thugs.

Washington, D.C.: RG3!!!! REDSKINS’ SAVIOR!!!! HOPE!!!! CHANGE!!!! Hey, haven’t we used these words for some other guy? We can’t seem to remember how well THAT’S turned out…

Dallas: That’s it, man. Game over. It’s all over. There is no hope. We are horrible. Who should we blame? The defense that allowed 300+ yards passing with 4 passing TDs and nearly 150 yards rushing with another rushing TD? No. That’s dumb. How about the running backs that combined for 7 carries? No. That’s ridiculous. How about the coach who called 62 freaking passing plays to 8 designed run plays? No. That’s preposterous. I’VE GOT IT!!!! Let’s blame Tony Romo, who threw for 441 yards, 3 TDs to 2 INTs and got pressured about as many times as he completed. YEAH!!!! SCREW THAT GUY!!!!

Foxborough: BRADY!!!! BRADY!!!! OH YEAH!!!! He can do NO wrong. This is the best Patriots team ever!!!!

East Rutherford: This is all Tebow’s fault. Even injured with broken ribs, he’s distracting the Sanchize. Friggin’ Jesus freak.

(Sunday matchups, Monday reactions)

Minneapolis: Oh, no. Ponder has regressed. QUICK!!!! CALL IN FAVRE!!!!

Chicago: I don’t CARE if he wins. He was mean to me. We don’t like Cutler because he’s mean. So what if he wins us games. He’s mean!!!!

Oakland: Yeah, we definitely should have held on to Campbell. Oh, well. Let’s try our backup. It worked in San Fran.

Cincinatti: See, THAT’S why we got rid of Palmer. Well, that and the whole hot dog ad…

Pittsburgh: NOOOOOOOO!!!! We lost to the BROWNS!!!! I mean, we know we were on our 3^rd string QB, but why didn’t Plaxico work? WHY?!?!?!

Cleveland: Ya know, our season was worth all the terrible playing and losing record just to stick it to Pittsburgh. To us, this IS a Super Bowl win. (sobs uncontrollably at the sad, yet true, statement)

Buffalo: Canada is looking better every year for this crappy team to move to. We’d rather be teamless than put up with this filth.

Indianapolis: YEAH!!!! HILTON!!!! We have a complete team: Awesome offense, adept defense, and opportunistic special teams. WE’RE GONNA WIN IT ALL!!!!

Denver: Whew, you were makin me nervous there, Manning. (May actually be my reaction…)

Kansas City: Oh, the Chiefs are still playing? We were looking at our hopeful baseball team.

Seattle: SO close to an away win. We’ll get one somewhere though… right?

Miami: Fine. We’ll let you stay, Tannehill… for now.

Atlanta: YEAH!!!! WE’RE 10-1!!!! EVERYONE HAS TO RESPECT US, NOW!!!! Oh, no one does because we still have the weakest schedule and are barely winning? Right…

Tampa: NOOOOOOO!!!! SO close to shutting those dirty birds up. I guess we’ll have to fire this coach, too.

Nashville: What the crap? Seriously? The Jags beat us? I mean, I guess they almost beat the Texans, so, yeah, but, really?

Jacksonville: What the crap? Seriously? We won a game?

Baltimore: YEAH!!!! FLACCO TO RICE FTW!!!! Flacco is the best QB and Rice is the best RB ever!!!!

San Diego: You know dadgum well that Norv let the conversion happen to troll us and stay for next year, too.

San Francisco: YEAH!!!! KAEPERNICK!!!! So much better than that bum, Smith. What did THAT guy ever do for us?

New Orleans: When did Brees become Romo?

St. Louis: This is just another rebuilding year. We’ll be good next year. I mean, look how good Bradford looks.

Glendale: It’s obvious we threw in the towel playing a rookie. That’s ok. He’ll still score more than Sanchez next week.

Green Bay: Really? THAT’S how we get revenge for last year? Good job. Super effective.

East Rutherford: ELI’S BACK, BABY!!!!

Charlotte: SUPERMAN RETURNS!!!!

Philadelphia: ARR, ARR, ARR, ARR, I’m a walrus that can’t coach a team out of suckiness.