It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally here! Week 17! All the
roller coasters of the season, all the train wrecks, and all the glorious rides
end today with only 12 teams moving on to the next dance. I am excited because,
almost as if Hollywood was writing it, all 4 NFC divisions are still up for
grabs, 2 of which will end in head-to-head matchups, and the wild card matchups
are just mind-boggling. The drama! The intrigue! The obviousness that I have
already moved on from the Cowboys this season! Let us begin!
Sunday Early Afternoon Games
Panthers @ Falcons: PANTHERS – So, while I would love for
the Falcons to win so the Saints can snag the division, I just don’t see it
happening. However, if the Panthers lose, the Saints win, and the Cardinals
win, the Panthers will have had that amazing run for close to nothing as they
would be Seed #6.
Texans @ Titans: TITANS – Ugh, the Texans really hurt me
this year. I really thought they would somehow turn it around, but what will be
14 straight losses has got to be a blow to this team that seemed a mere 1 step
away from being legit Super Bowl contenders. This will carry over as the big
question next year will be when they will get their first win. They better win
Week 1, or else the snowball of this season that will mercifully end today will
build right back up next year.
Browns @ Steelers: STEELERS – A few weeks ago, I would have
taken the Browns because they were hot and the Steelers were undoubtedly not.
However, the Steelers have shown signs of adequacy at the end of this season.
Maybe they have found some chemistry they can build on next year. I hope not,
but it could happen.
Redskins @ Giants: REDSKINS – Hey, remember when, at the
beginning of the year, both of these teams were legitimate contenders for the
division? Yeah, those were fun times… These teams managed to look like they had
never played together for most of the year. Yeah, sure, the Giants had that 4
game winning streak, but I ripped that one apart at the time, and I turned out
to be right. This game doesn’t matter except for pride, and Cousins has shown
he can play at a decent level, which is all he’ll need to lead the Redskins to
a huge, end-of-season UPSET.
Ravens @ Bengals: RAVENS – The Bengals have nothing to gain,
the Ravens are still technically a Wild Card possibility. I know on paper that
the Bengals are a shoo-in, but they should be resting their starters while the
Ravens have to play hard and get some luck in order to get back into the
playoffs.
Jaguars @ Colts: COLTS – Wow, if you told me after Week 4
that the Jags would lose Blackmon again and somehow play better without him,
I’d have said you were stupid. Alas, you would have been right, and I would
have been apologizing. So thank goodness you didn’t say anything to me, because
I don’t like apologizing. Anyway,
the Jags will not be losing by 11 against the Colts’ backups, but they will be
losing.
Jets @ Dolphins: DOLPHINS – I am so glad Dylan talked me out
of the Jets’ bandwagon earlier this season. They have done nothing as magical
as the first half of their season. The Dolphins are still in the playoff hunt.
Miami controls its own destiny, so they better come to play. If they slip, it
will be the Ravens or, despite all likelihood, the Chargers dancing in January.
Lions @ Minnesota: VIKINGS – BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!! What did I
tell you all? Have I not been saying that the Lions would choke? If there is
one thing I am familiar with, it is a team that chokes. The Lions had it all
handed to them on a silver platter; not one not two, but all THREE of the other
starting QBs were injured in their division. Seriously, how do you not win your
division after that? I’ll tell you how: you play on an undisciplined team with
an undisciplined coach. The Vikings underperformed this season, but they’ve
show signs of adequacy of late. All they have to do is let the Lions beat
themselves.
Late Afternoon Games
Packers @ Bears: DA BEARS – My fellow columnists all seem to
be putting a lot of stock in Aaron Rodgers’ return. I am skeptical that he is
game ready. He’s been out for quite some time, and he will be rusty. Remember
how Cutler looked his first game back? Sure, he came into his own in the 2nd
half, but I think that Da Bears are too good of a team to come back against in
half a game. I could be wrong, and if so, then the Packers may somehow go to
another Super Bowl because Aaron Rodgers would prove he is bad to the bone. All
in all, I have to WASH this game out due to the fact that this is seemingly the
most unpredictable matchup of the day.
Bills @ Patriots: PATRIOTS – The Patriots have done well
despite the fact that they have had the most inconsistent lineup to help out
Tom Brady. Because of this, Tom Brady is my MVP pick. I know he didn’t have the
most lights out year, but he did the most with the least. Peyton Manning will
win because of his breaking 47 different offensive records, and it is hard to
argue with that sentiment. However, I feel that the MVP is not simply the
player with the best stats, but the one whose team would have failed dismally
without him. That’s why 2 seasons ago, I jokingly said the MVP should have gone
to Peyton Manning because the Colts dropped from a 10-12 win team to a 2-win
team. Peyton Manning didn’t play a snap, but he proved to be the MVP as he was
worth about 10 wins. This season, the Patriots won because of Brady, despite
not one single other consistent offensive contributor. Tom Brady has my vote,
for whatever it’s worth.
Buccaneers @ Saints: SAINTS – The Saints have to win to be
in the playoffs. Too many scenarios knock them out if they lose. It shouldn’t
be a problem, though, seeing as they are undefeated at home, something no one
else in the NFC can claim.
Broncos @ Raiders: BRONCOS – The Broncos will be playing
backups, though they do need a win to solidify home field advantage. They are
playing in Oakland, so maybe Peyton will play well seeing as it’s not freezing
there. Either way, I don’t see the Raiders doing anything this week to slow
down the Broncos.
49ers @ Cardinals: CARDINALS – If I’ve said it once, I’ve
said it 8 times this season: Arizona has the most underrated home-field
advantage in the league. The 49ers have a daunting task beating the Cardinals
in Arizona. The Cardinals have proven they are legitimate, but they may have
had one too many losses to verify that in the post-season. They need some help,
but they still can snag that 6th seed. I hope they do, because I
want to see what they can do. They intrigue me more than any other playoff
hopeful.
Chiefs @ Chargers: CHARGERS – I know what Dylan is going to
say: “Tex, why aren’t you choosing your beloved Chiefs? I thought they were
going to go to the Super Bowl. Now, pass me all the mashed potatoes and gravy!
I will eat it all in one bite!” The bottom line, however, is that the Chargers
have something to play for. The Chiefs have 5th seed. The end. They
can’t drop; they can’t rise. They will be resting everyone so they can try to
make an improbable and largely doubted run in the playoffs. The Chargers have
to win and get a lot of help in order to get in the playoffs. However, they may
know by the time the game rolls around that their dreams are gone. In that
case, this game will suck at epic levels because it will be 2 teams putzing
through 60 minutes of pointless, crappy football.
Rams @ Seahawks: SEAHAWKS – Last week, according to Dylan,
was an anomaly. NO ONE can win in Seattle. Except, apparently, the Cardinals.
This is yet another reason I want the Cards to slip in so that they can go
punch Seattle right in the throat, and I get to laugh at ALL of my fellow
columnists with the Seahawks pull a Romo/Peyton and be one-and-done.
Sunday Night Game
Eagles @ Cowboys: EAGLES – Boy, I bet when they flexed this
game, they were expecting it to be a Romo meltdown of epic proportions. Well,
sorry NBC, but Romo actually finished a season strong and with a win for once.
Sure, it was Week 16, and sure, now he’s on IR to prevent history from
repeating itself, but now when the Cowboys lose, IT WON’T BE ROMO’S FAULT. Wait…
wait… Oh no… I know what it is now: “Well, if only Romo had played…” NO!!!!
Dadgumit media! STOP IT!!!! *Sigh* Well, this will be another let down year for
the Boys. I did call an 8-8 season! I know my Cowboys. This game will not be
pretty. Without Romo making impossible plays, the Cowboys will be stuck with
Kyle Orton. Tell me, how does THIS guy have a job, but Tebow is at home. How
many division titles and playoff games did Orton win? None? Oh yeah, that’s
right, because he was replaced by TEBOW! Anyway, this game will be ugly for
everyone except for Eagles’ fans and Cowboys haters. I will say, this is a
historical moment. What I am abaout to say has never been said by my. Just
remember, you heard it here from a die-hard Cowboys fan: Cowboys lose, Eagles
win: LOCKED.
So drop in next week when I will cleanse my palette of the
horrible Sunday Night Game with some amazing Wild Card matchups. Until then,
Happy Football, and a Happy New Year, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment