Beyond the Hype – The Hybrid (featuring Thanksgiving NFL Picks)
@Cuz_Im_Tex on Twitter
This week, because I must do my customary Thanksgiving article as well as my (somewhat) weekly “Beyond the Hype,” I’m just going to combine them both into one super-article. To begin with, *ahem* .....
HOW BOUT MY COWBOYS?!?!?!?!
Look, I know they beat a 4-6 team, but in a year where the Bucs almost steal one from the Seahawks at home, the Chiefs go from the worst team to (one of the) best teams, and the Jags are somehow better than the Texans, any win, especially a road win, against a divisional opponent is huge.
Now that I have given the proper props to my favorite team, I must address some terrible, horrible news. Stupid, horrible GM Jerry Jones, who remains employed for unknown reasons by otherwise brilliant owner Jerry Jones, has announced that Head Puppet Jason Garrett will be returning next year, regardless of how the rest of the season turns out. This comes as no shock to those of us Cowboys fans who have paid attention to the ridiculously stupid decisions GM Jones has made the past 15 years or so, but it is no less devastating to our hopes for the future.
Why Owner Jerry Jones keeps this inept GM in his employ is anyone’s guess, but the longer this continues, the longer the Cowboys’ post-season drought will continue. Look, it’s not that Jason Garrett is a bad coach, but he is average and does not have a commanding presence. He doesn’t even have that much success as an assistant coach. I know he was hired because of his history with the Cowboys, but he will have had 3.5 years with Dallas come Week 17, and, short of at least one post-season win, will have given no improvement to the former regime of Wade Phillips. That’s right, the Princeton grad will have provided no improvement to the coach who talked so unintelligibly like he sounded like he was constantly having a stroke. The former player under Jimmy Johnson will have established no more discipline on the team than the guy who let Rowdy, the Cowboys’ mascot, kick field goals in training camp. So, why should I be happy that he remains unemployed?
Next, I move on to someone else in division: The Washington Redskins. No, this is not a rub-in on how bad they are, nor is this another defense of their name. No, this time, I want to address something that I’m noticing. Now, I’m not saying RG3 is playing off the charts, nor am I saying that he is a perfect quarterback on a horrible team. What I am seeing is a hard-working, fighting, tough athlete whose team can’t protect him. Sure, he’s throwing errantly, and sure, he’s throwing interceptions, but seriously, you go out there and get hit every play and throw your best. See, I watched Sunday Night Football, and at halftime, almost everyone at the sports bar I was enjoying had cleared out because the game was over at 24-0, right? I stayed, telling my bartender that Tom Brady is never out. This was because the game was so big because of 3 straight fumbles. Outside of those fumbles, the Broncos only scored 3 points. I knew the Patriots had a chance if they held on to the ball. Lo and behold, I was right.
This was not the case Monday night. RG3 was running around trying to make plays, and he had no protection. The times he actually got protection, his receivers were dropping passes anyway. This is a quarterback who is coming off major knee surgery. It does not appear to me that the Redskins have put much effort to prevent another injury to their franchise quarterback.
Well, now that I have gotten all that off my chest, how bout we look at my picks for the week? I might even have some BtH mini-gems in there.
Thanksgiving Day Games
Packers @ Lions – PACKERS: I am thankful that the Lions are proving my entry from a couple weeks ago that they have entered choke time. I am thankful that the Packers re-signed Matt Flynn so that he can have another monster game against Detroit and maybe prove he is, in fact, a good quarterback as long as he wears yellow. It worked at LSU, and it worked in Green Bay. Clearly, he should just replace Big Ben, RG3, Rivers, or arguably Flacco (the Maryland seal has yellow in it). Anyway, I am also thankful for this potential of getting 2 UPSET picks in a row!
Raiders @ Cowboys – COWBOYS: I am thankful that the Cowboys are playing exactly how I predicted them to play, so that, if they blow it at the end of the season, no one can say I was a stupid homer. I am thankful the Cowboys have shown flashes of the great team it was supposed to be a couple of years ago. I am thankful Dez Bryant has gotten even better this year because Miles Austin is, once again, an injury liability. I am not thankful for that, because Austin is a good guy, but I am thankful I can mentally move on when the Cowboys release him in the off-season. I am thankful for the Raiders being the Cowboys’ opponent with their horrible DBs and questionable offense. Finally, I am thankful for this easy LOCK that I will win.
Steelers @ Ravens – RAVENS: I am SO thankful that the Steelers suck this year. I love it when they’re bad. I mean, I don’t normally care if a team does poorly so long as they don’t beat the Cowboys, but the Steelers are one of the few teams that I honestly would be happy if they went 0-16 for the rest of my life, and it would never grow old. I am thankful that the Steelers are bad, and I’m thankful that their record will get worse after Thanksgiving.
Sunday Early Afternoon Games
Titans @ Colts – COLTS: I am thankful that this matchup is not a shoo-in. The Colts are obviously going to win their division, but that doesn’t mean that they are going to get to the post-season unscathed. They have shown that they are the best in their division, but I am very thankful to see that they have some ridiculous losses to humble them a bit. I am thankful that the Titans have found ways to be competitive without their starting quarterback. It will make for an interesting game.
Jaguars @ Browns – BROWNS: I am thankful that this match is not going to be as bad as what I would have thought at the beginning of the season. Both teams have gotten surprising wins. That being said, I’m thankful that the Jags are no longer the worst team in the league, I just wish it wasn’t at the expense of my Texans.
Buccaneers @ Panthers – PANTHERS: *sniffs* You smell that? Is that… a trap game a-brewin? Well, it certainly feels that way seeing that the Bucs have won 3 in a row and the Panthers have gone on an amazing streak of 7 games. It seems like the Panthers have been cutting it close the past few weeks as well. Well, while that may be well and true, I am not about to think that the Bucs can beat the Panthers in Carolina. I am thankful, however, that this matchup has given me much more material than I would normally care to write about. I would be thankful for this trap game to come true if only to shut Dylan up about naming the Panthers #2 in his power rankings.
Bears @ Vikings – VIKINGS: Wow, there are a few matchups I’d be thankful to be able to wash out, but I will save it for later. I don’t have a lot to be thankful about in this matchup; I assumed both teams would be better than they have been this year, but that doesn’t mean all is lost. Now is the time for them to find their future.
Cardinals @ Eagles – CARDINALS: I am thankful that the Cardinals are, in fact, showing a competitiveness not seen since Kurt Warner retired. I am thankful for the intrigue in this matchup seeing as this could determine who still has a chance at the playoffs and who simply overachieved a little.
Dolphins @ Jets – JETS: I am thankful these teams gave us something to talk about this year. They were quite fun topics early on. They were even frustrating to pick around. While this week will be no different seeing as how they are both trying to lose out, I am thankful that I can avert my attention from here on out.
Patriots @ Texans – PATRIOTS: I am thankful that I told Dylan to watch out for the Patriots’ rise in the power rankings. I saw their strength of schedule and their on-going groove. I am NOT thankful for the Texans making me look bad the past few weeks, but I AM thankful that Case Keenum is getting all his bad games out this season in order to prepare him for what should be a good season next year.
Sunday Late Afternoon Games
Falcons @ Bills – BILLS: Somehow, some way, the Jags might not get the 1st pick of the 2014 draft because, as I am so thankful to say that the Falcons may be the worst team in the league. They have been unstoppably bad, and it may fall between them and the Texans on who gets the 1st pick, and I think the Falcons may somehow out-suck the Texans.
Rams @ 49ers – 49ERS: I am thankful that the 49ers have re-found their mojo that has helped me the past 2 years. Hopefully this will bring me a few more wins in my pick record so I can beat Dylan.
Broncos @ Chiefs – BRONCOS: I am so thankful for the Chiefs return to being a good team. It has been a few years since they were talked about seriously as a football team. I think they could have beaten Denver, and it would make me very thankful if I’m wrong about this prediction, but if you lose your 2 best defensive players who were basically matching what your other 9 were producing, I think it’d be very hard to take down such an elite offense as the Broncos. I am, however, thankful that the Chiefs found their offense last week.
Bengals @ Chargers – CHARGERS: Look, I know why the Chargers are favored: They beat a very good team at home. So why wouldn’t they be favored against a lesser team at home? Well, I am thankful to say that they should be favored and, although I don’t like them, I think they’ll come through again and thankfully give me a point.
Sunday Night Game
Giants @ Redskins – GIANTS: Look, I, as a Cowboys fan, am thrilled that these 2 teams are playing so horribly, especially since the Cowboys are playing so mediocre. I am also thankful for a game that I will WASH out with great gusto.
Monday Night Game
Saints @ Seahawks – SAINTS: I am so thankful for the Saints returning to Super Bowl contender status. I am also thankful that this matchup happens in-season so that we actually can see who deserves home-field advantage. Finally, I will be thankful after the game when Dylan will have no choice but to crown the Saints as the #1 team in the NFL.
Finally, and this is a change to my normal pick-article, I want to thank all of you, our readers, who inspire me to stay up until 1 AM sometimes to make sure I finish these articles for you to read. Seriously, without y’all, I’d probably sometimes “call in sick,” if you will. I mean, I’m married with a kid, so I can certainly fill that time with sleep. It is y’all that make me want to finish all of these articles in time. I of course want to thank my other contributors to our amazing site: Dylan, Dave, and sometimes even good ol’ Dustin chimes in. Now, I implore you, go eat some more turkey, spend more time with family, and always, ALWAYS, go watch more football!
Saints winning in Seattle? I don't see it...in fact, I think I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and LOCK the Seahawks this week!
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