Ferret on the Field! Week 17

The 2012 Finale
By Dave Schefke (@Daveschefke9 on Twitter)

Bittersweet time of year. It's the end of the regular season and the beginning of the dance. This week is sure to have plenty of funny business with playoff positions at risk, teams resting players, and teams playing spoiler. For that reason, we'll set humor on the backburner and focus more on betting the lines. Here's my look ahead at Week 17 in the NFL!

BEARS/LIONS- Appropriate to start with this one because it embodies all that is sure to be Week 17. We have the Detroit Lions, epic failures and Tier 1 disappointments of the year playing host to the spiraling Bears, who started off red hot and have since played like the New York Jets. Outcome? The Bears squeak out a win IF their defense can score at least one touchdown. Shouldn't be hard with Matt Stafford throwing picks like Mark Sanchez. If Stafford can somehow avoid gifting this one to Chicago, Detroit has a very legitimate chance to play spoiler and crush any playoff hopes the Bears have. This will be an ugly and amusing game to watch...don't bet lol

JETS/BILLS- Another worthless game, but I bet it and I bet it hard. Why? Because the Jets benched Tebow and God hates them. Also they suck...more than the Bills. This one is for you Timmy! Screw you, New York.

RAIDERS/CHARGERS- LOLz


CHIEFS/BRONCOS- The spread is bigger than the Grand Canyon. The Chiefs have played a bit better of late, which doesn't say much, but Denver continues to destroy anyone they play, good or bad. It's tough to keep betting them to cover enormous spreads, though. Last week at home, gunning for the top spot with a little help? Not the worst bet, but not the best bet. Either way, my beloved Broncos sweet through the second half of their season and are primed to make a Superbowl run!!! Coolest game ever? Broncos/Seahawks...one can hope...as long as the game is not in Seattle...

JAGS/TITANS- Again, I hope Timmy winds up in Jacksonville. That's about it for this one, unless you want to bet the under.

TEXANS/COLTS- As the beer commercials say, Here we go. Luck and the playoff bound Colts are home against the Texans who continue to soil themselves. The Line is HOU(-7). I actually like Indy to cover. I won't be surprised to see the Colts come out with a win here either. Houston has a lot to prove, because right now they look like a 1-and-Done playoff team.

PACKERS/VIKINGS- This has trap game written all over it. The Packers are slight favorites in Minnesota in a game where Minnesota is playing for their playoff lives. The Pack have been playing the best football of their season, but this one is going to be close. The Vikings +3.5 is not a bad bet, and no, a win is definitely not out of the question. I'm also guessing AP runs for 140ish, a monster game but short of the record.

DOLPHINS/PATS- I hate Brady and company when it comes to covering big spreads against inferior teams...they just don't do it. They are -10 and even though they are at home, Miami's defense is playing well and New England was on their knees praying for a "nail-biting" win against THE JAGS??? Hmm...
I'm not saying I'd take Miami to cover, but let's just say I don't feel great about taking New England to cover. If you want your best bet, wait until gametime and see what the First half line is. Much more feasible for NE to cover and won't give Miami the garbage time points they will inevitably score in a trap game.

PANTHERS/SAINTS- SHOOTOUT. What is the over? A lot? Yeah, a lot...it's tough to combine for 50 points in any game, unless you're Seattle in 2012 at home. I like the Saints at home, but not enough to bet.

EAGLES/GIANTS- Another fitting end of the year game. 2 epic failures. My boy Nick Foles is out with a broken hand, which means Michael Vick is in. That can only mean one thing: bet the other team. I don't know what it feels like to be a Giants fan this year, because I'm not a Lions fan, but I imagine it can't feel good. Maddeningly inconsistent with a lot of talent and a great coach. At home, against Vick though...I give you the points. Giants win and cover the spread as Vick throws 4 picks.

BROWNS/STEELEERS- Who cares. And why would you ever bet this game? Yeah, think about it.

BUCS/FALCONS- Vegas is off on this one. Falcons win, but by how much? Guess it doesn't matter this week. At least Atlanta can gain some momentum headed into their DOOMED postseason run.

BENGALS/RAVENS- The Ravens are STILL overrated. They just smacked down the Giants because Eli flipped a coin before the game and opted not to try. Cincy wins, and I'll take the line.

COWBOYS/REDSKINS- Like Indy, the Skins are another playoff-bound team lead by an outstanding roookie QB. Look for them to win a tough one at home against a desperate Dallas team. Want insurance? If RG3 fails, Romo will find a way to fail more. But with the funny business, I just can't get myself to give 3 points, although it's probably a good bet.

CARDS/49ers- Interesting game. Not that it will be really close, but the spread is big enough to entice people to bet AZ to cover, they do have a decent defense. Vegas knows what they are doing, so bet with them if you want...but I'm not.

RAMS/SEAHAWKS- This game is summed up in 3 words: Seattle is home. However, the spread is a hefty one against the Rams, who as we all know, have been the wierdest team to bet this entire season. And how much longer can this improbable blowout streak continue? Be careful, St. Louis could make this a game.