State of Overreaction – Week 13

State of Overreaction – Week 13

By Tex Deville (@TheFUSTexan on Twitter)

Just as a preface, I will not be commenting on either the Panthers/Chiefs game or the Browns/Raiders games due to the respective tragedies that each team suffered this week. Any and all possible lights of humor would be highly inappropriate. I congratulate both the Chiefs and the Browns for overcoming extremely emotional weekends with a victory despite the overwhelming difficulties this weekend brought.

(Thursday Night game, Friday reactions)

New Orleans – Well, Goodell, you win. You happy now? Are we punished enough now? We won’t win this year. IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?!?!

Atlanta – YEAH! WE BEAT THE SAINTS WITHOUT THEIR HEAD COACH! WE BEAT DREW BREES! WE’RE GOING ALL THE WAY!!!!

(Sunday games, Monday reactions)

Jacksonville – Just when we thought Henne was the answer, he goes and loses. Well, one loss means we need to fire people, so I guess that’s what we have to do. Matt Barkley looks good…

Buffalo – We won? We WON! Oh praise the Lord! WE WON!!!!

Seattle – RUSSELLLLLLLLL WILSOOOOOOOON!!!!

Chicago – See? That Cutler guy is a jerk who SUCKS!!!!

Indianapolis – WHOA!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! LUCK IS CLUTCH!!!! When was Peyton ever this clutch?

Detroit – Oh, so THAT’S how it feels. Usually we’re the ones to make some weird comeback that makes no sense, but now we understand how frustrating that is on the other end. We now apologize to all teams we’ve beaten like that.

Minneapolis – Seriously? AP runs for 210 and we lose by 9? How bad IS Ponder?

Green Bay – Hey, we’re back on top the North. WE’RE UNSTOPPABLE!!!! Discount THIS double check, Bears!

Houston – FINALLY, a return to normalcy. How is it, though, that we have the best record in the AFC, but we haven’t clinched our division? I mean, we thought with Peyton gone, SURELY we’d cinch 3 weeks ago…

Nashville – Come on, man. 3 interceptions? Who are you? Drew Brees?

San Francisco – You know, maybe it was less Alex Smith’s alleged incompetence and more Jim Fisher knowing how to ground QBs. Hey, Alex! No hard feelings, right?

St. Louis – We might be the only team ever to have 0 losses in division and still lose the division. Well, you gotta give it to Fisher. He has turned us around.

Foxborough – What on earth? Brady was… average? OH, NO!!!! HE’S GETTING TOO OLD!!!!

Miami – Hmmm… Dolphins, Marlins, Heat… Maybe we should stay away from aquatic animals and move towards mascots that KILL aquatic animals…

Glendale – Hey, the rook almost came through. Maybe he is the future of promising QBs that will ultimately let us down…

East Rutherford – Oh, COME ON!!!! All these games you should have pulled Sanchez out, and you do it the ONE game Tebow is injured. Screw it, I’m pulling for the Giants now.

Tampa – Hey, we kept the best QB in check for an entire half. We are rebuilding, and we are looking pretty good for next year. Or the year after that. Or maybe the year after that…

Denver – Peyton just overshadowed Elway? Crap. Now Elway is gonna trade him away…

Cincinatti – Dalton just showed everyone why we’re going to end our playoff win drought.

San Diego – Any day now, we’ll hear why Norv is staying… I wonder if the Raiders want anymore people added to their fan base? At least they still have fun losing…

Pittsburgh – Seriously? We won with Charlie Batch? The Ravens think they are gonna win the division when they can’t beat Charlie Batch? Wow…

Baltimore – Seriously? We lost to Charlie freakin Batch?!

Philadelphia – And right on cue, Reid fires someone to try to distract everyone from his inability to get a win. I wonder if he just ate all of the Eagles’ wins. Or maybe he sold them to the Walrus-devil to showcase his love of aquatic facial hair.

Dallas – ROMO!!!! OH YEAH!!!! He’s the best. Most TDs of any Cowboy QB. Now, let’s get that Lombardi trophy, huh?

(Monday Night game, Tuesday reactions)

East Rutherford – We’re not worried. Eli ALWAYS sucks at this point in the season. We’re perfectly where we want to be…

Washington, D.C. – RG3! RG3! RG3! RG3! THE EAST IS OURS!!!! RG3! RG3!.....