Trolling

This Article Will Troll You SOOOOOOO Hard

Be forewarned, the title says it all as far as my content. I will be trolling like nobody’s business.

So I was sitting in Buffalo Wild Wings enjoying a high quality, high alcohol beer along with my wings, and I see replays of this weekend’s games. Then I see a headline “Manning is not bitter after devastating loss.” I think in my mind two things simultaneously “No crap” and “Bullcrap.” No crap that Peyton, the best ever QB and consummate professional says he isn’t bitter. Bullcrap that he’s not. Also, bullcrap that no one in Denver is bitter. Let’s wind the clocks back a year; what happened? Oh yeah, that non-QB Tebow was showing Big Fat Ben how to throw a touchdown. The town of Denver went crazy. John Elway nearly had an aneurism. Peyton Manning saw an opportunity. Big Fat Ben said “Ouch.” Tebow thought “YES, I’ve secured starting next year.” Elway said “Oh crap, I have to start Tebow next year.” Manning thought “Hell, I could do that next year.” Every single one of them was wrong. Well, except Big Fat Ben. He sucks, and that pass did hurt him.

So, what is different this year from last year? One freaking team. Seriously. Manning isn’t about to make history; Tebow still is, for some stupid reason, not wanted by anyone; the Broncos are still watching the AFC Championship happen. What is funny is that I’ve been preaching “karma” against the 49ers while, until now, being completely blind to a very real abuse of goodwill in the Broncos. Everyone just passed it off because it’s Manning, but let’s look at the stats: Tebow has 1 more playoff win as a Bronco than Manning does. Look, you’ve been reading my articles; you know where I stand on Manning. Just look at the facts: Tebow is better at big game situations. I don’t like it, but there you go. I mean, Trent Dilfer has 1 more Super Bowl win than Marino does. Does that make him better? No, but, at the same time, yes. Just like Tebow. Is he better than Peyton? No, but at the same time (for now) yes. Elway is still in a rut, because people in Denver are going to (if they haven’t already) figure this math out. Is this fair? I can tell you that, as a Cowboys fan that endures all the Romo hate in the world, you can bet it’s fair. I have people raggin on me because of Romo’s last INT. You know what? LOOK AT PEYTON’S INT!!!! Even the best do stupid crap when the game is on the line.

And then there’s Matt Ryan. Him and his Matty Ice face that everyone outside the dirty-bird area wants to punch. There he is on the sideline with Arthur _______ hugging on him like a drunken prom date. Like Matt Ryan did something other than buckle under pressure and get bailed out by his kicker. How many close games are the Falcons going to get away with? How many times until their luck runs out? I’ll tell you this: they are no where NEAR as good as the other 3 teams. Of course, now that I’ve said that, Good Old Roger will be sure to pay off the refs to make sure that the Falcons win it all so that everything is all “fair.” Wow… even I admit that I seem to be getting more venomous with each paragraph. Well, I’ll end with this: Tebow deserves a good home, but he won’t get it because he’s “unconventional.” Meanwhile, Colin, RG3, and Cam Newton will enjoy remaining good pocket QBs, and Manning will provide obvious vast improvements to Tebow’s presence in Denver.