Ferret on the Field! Christmas Edition

By Dave Schefke

Merry Christmas, everyone! We've got an early present with Monday Night Football coming early. Here's my look ahead at Week 16, along with a little holiday spirit to kick it off.

Jingle Bells, Jim Schwartz smells, why'd he throw that flag?
Epic failure fills Detroit and fans wear paper bags!
Jingle Bells, Harbaugh smells, RG3's a stud,
Tebow's off to where he should have gone to on Day 1.
Jingle Bells, Eagles fail, but Nick Foles has great hair,
Newton's overrated, Peyton Manning's on a tear!
Jingle Bells, Jaguars smell, Adrian's on man,
Brady lost to Kaepernick and Suh stomped on 9 hands.
Jingle bells, Ponder smells, can he even throw?
Guess it doesn't matter cause he marries like a pro!
Jingle Bells, Cutler smells, he fights his own team,
Eli threw a hundred picks but Sanchez said "watch me"

ATL/DET- The two teams that have destroyed me all year finally meet. The Falcons are playing with a chip on their shoulder with all the legitimacy talk about them and are also gunning for the #1 seed...you know which Falcons team is going to show up. Blowout in D-Town.


SAINTS/COWBOYS- Dallas is playing good football and has a balanced offense with Demarco Murray back and healthy. Romo is showing that he CAN win games...well, regular season games...Dallas grabs a must-win to keep their playoff hopes alive.

TITANS/PACKERS- We saw that Tennessee did last week against the Jets on MNF. Why was that our MNF game??? Green Bay is playing the best football of their season and just in time. They're also getting healthy to make a possible deep run this year. The spread is huge and their coach is not named Billy B, so buy some points or find a better spot to bet.

COLTS/CHIEFS- The improbable run continues and won't stop here. Luck will lead Indy past the lowly Chiefs and into the...playoffs.

BILLS/DOLPHINS- We're in for a good one here! Wait, no we're not.

CHARGERS/JETS- The only thing I will say is that there are rumors that Timmy Boy is possibly on his way to Jacksonville? Please God, yes...oh and the Jets lose.

SKINS/EAGLES- Washington has turned heads and is on the verge of a playoff spot? They must beat the Eagles. They will beat the Eagles, and it doesn't even matter who is playing QB for them.

BENGALS/STEELERS- Huge game here, and one team may just punch their ticket to the dance with a W here. I'm going to go with the underdog...on the road. Cincy has a lot of talent with a running game, the 2nd best WR this year and a solid young QB to get him the ball. I think they win a close one in Pitt.

RAMS/BUCS- I hate predicting any game that involves the Rams for obvious reasons. I'll go with the muscle hamster, though.

RAIDERS/PANTHERS- Cam gets a win at home. Another boring game.

PATS/JAGS- The Pats just got lit up at home by the 49ers. They don't like when that happens. Have you seen the Twitter spoofs with Kaepernick and Brady? They're hilarious. "Brady got run over by a reindeer"...."Hey Colin, chop off 10 pounds from that shnoz of yours"...New England will take out their frustrations on a terrible Jags team and satisfy the blood lust of angry Pats fans everywhere. And perhaps (I can hope) I can get another look at Ryan Mallett.

VIKINGS/TEXANS- The Texans owe their fans a big win here at home, but it might be closer than a lot of people think. I actually don't mind the bet for Minny to cover a manageable spread. With all eyes on Peterson and his attempt to squeeze his team into the postseason, I'm guessing this will be a good one, with the Texans coming out on top...barely.

BROWNS/BRONCOS- Obvious outcome, trap game to bet. My beloved Broncos will definitely come out with the win, but the spread is far too big, even at home against the Browns. I'd like to see what Denver does with its running game. They have to continue playing good football, especially against poor opponents as they look to enter the playoffs and make a Superbowl run!

BEARS/CARDINALS- A repeat of last week? Don't expect it. 'Da Bears may be in shambles, but they are in no way, shape or form as bad as the Detroit Lions. They will find a way to win an ugly game. Remember, most of AZ's points came as early Christmas presents with Matthew Stafford playing Santa Claus. Ho, Ho, Ho...Bears win.

GIANTS/RAVENS- Two good football teams that are playing like bad football teams. Which one can rebound and/or make less mistakes? My money is literally on the Giants. Listening to everything the Giants players are saying in interviews, it sounds like Coughlin has their heads on straight and plenty ready to take this one down and prove that they are a playoff team.

49ers/SEAHAWKS- This is the most intriguing game of the week for me. Seattle has been an offensive powerhouse? The 49ers continue to win games with their surprise rookie QB. Speaking of, Russell Wilson is so hot right now. Two very good defenses tangle in Seattle, the key phrase being "in Seattle". They don't lose at home. To anyone. I'll take the Seahawks in a defensive-minded nail-biter. Welcome to the playoffs, boys!

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